As if she knew what I was thinking, Cassie glanced my way and smiled knowingly.I chastised myself. I was glad to be back. I was glad to have helped Jerry and was quite pleased with the payment swelling my bank account. But it had been an agonising, soul-searching week away.I felt bipolar, my mood swinging from pure unadulterated pleasure at the sexual side of Cassie's and my relationship, to deep depression and even shame for succumbing to her and betraying her mother, Mary, a wonderful woman I'd known for fifteen years.Work had helped take my mind off the problem, but it hung like low, heavy clouds over my head. The only solution I could come up with was to stop. Somehow I had to stop our sexual relationship and wait until she turned eighteen. And, as deeply depressing as that thought was, watching her practice, seeing her move so gracefully, my heart racing just from observing her, I knew, if she loved me, she'd wait. That only made it harder.After practice I took her to Wilket. ” She slurred. “Well Jake, I guess you’re the man of the house now with dad gone” she slurred while throwing herself backwards on my bed. I had never really thought about mom before other than mom. “I watched too much porn tonight” I thought to myself.“What did you say, mom. I wasn’t listening” I said.“What honey, oh, you’re the man of the house now that dad is gone.” She again slurred out.This was the moment. It’s all or nothing. Going for broke….“Yes I am” I said out loud looking at her.I reached over my bed and picked her up like she was a sack of potatoes. “What, what are you doing Jake” she said startled consciously.“What the man of the house should be doing”. I said carrying her into the bathroom.I laid her down in the bath tub with her just looking up at me. “What’s going on Jake” she said.I started to pull my shorts down.“Jake, what do you think you are doing” she said now acting fully sober.I bend over her, grabbed her face with my hand, and tell her “Just fucking lay there..
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